2025-06-13 Bless You

I'm gonna goddamn say something and literally nobody can stop me! I am breaking my silence! I'm goddamn sick and tired of people saying bless you when I sneeze. I know, it needed to be said, ok. We, frequent sneezers, have been living in the darkness and its time for us to come out into the bright bright day and sneeze freely without fear of repercussion.

Why do people say bless you? What is the point? It doesn't do anything. I don't even understand the idea trying to be transmitted from one human being to another. It is falling on deaf ears. Why do we even need to bring attention to my sneeze? It's not like I'm spewing my disgusting snot-soaked droplets of sickness-infested foulness into the open air. I'm a goddamn good boy and I have, for the vast majority of my life, understood that you are to release your darkness only into the crook of ones elbow. And that's what I'm doing right now. So what right do you have, non-sneezer, to waddle your oh so holier than me self over and bless me in my time of respiratory need? Again, what does saying bless you even do? I didn't ask for the attention. Why are you giving it?

I thing the thing I hate more than just being told bless you is when I'm told it repeatedly. Hey, dipshit. Do you think maybe if I've sneezed 3+ times we can stop this stupid game and just go about our lives? Do you think we could do that? What are you getting out of blessing me? Do you not understand that human being were not meant to fly so high, injected repeatedly with such boundless holy power? Did you not understand the takeaway from the tale of Icarus?

In my house, growing up, we did not say bless you. Because we were semi-rational people that understood there is no point in doing so. Let the sneezer sneeze, ok. Let them exist and take care of themselves. Sneezing is not some life-threatening event. I will be fine, I assure you. Your faux concern is not needed. Rise up, sneezers! Rise up! Cast off the yoke of oppression!