Review

"They were covered in pitch and burned as torches to light Nero's orgies." Oh, Rome...

Very good and fun. I love the historical epic so much. The green screens must go. Every epic I've seen has been yet another nail in their coffin. My first Cecil B. DeMille. I have to say, the Christian message is rather a lot stronger when you are actually being persecuted. The scene where everyone is marching up the stairs into the arena to their deaths while singing genuinely had me tearing up. The modern Christian persecution complex is so disgusting. I saw a gay on Facebook, so that means I'm a victim that deserves the world. It's truly an embarrassment.

Strong performances all around. I think I'd play Nero in the remake. He was simply too fun. I had thought I recognized Claudette Colbert as our Roman Empress. She was the female lead in It Happened One Night. She was definitely given a lot more to do here. Loved her as the wretched temptress. Very powerful, "Marcus, don't make me command you to love me." I mean at one point she's bathing in a pool of fresh milk and petals. All the Roman decadence was very well done.

I felt the resolution with Marcus did come a little bit suddenly, I thought there could've been a little bit more there. Just like one missing scene to cement his turn, I think. My only real complaint. Otherwise it was nice and tight. Also I love intermissions and demand we return them. This movie was fully only two hours and still we got an intermission. Movies need piss and water breaks, okay. Was originally going to watch the Ten Commandments, but saw it was 4 hours. So that's a story for another time.

Addendum: Something else I was thinking about afterward about this movie and other historical epics. The costumes were generally good. There were a couple of moments where got into some swordplay and it was giving a little bit of that large cardboard sword feeling you get when things are lil cheaper. BUT, those moments tended to also align when we had a lot of people on screen doing stuff. And I think that's one thing that has stood out when viewing some of these epics, compared to modern movies. You just never ever get a bunch of extras on the screen at a time. It's such a simple thing, but it immediately makes the world feel more real. You know, because there are people in it. No the swords aren't perfect, but there's a lot of gladiator fellas swinging em around, so who cares.

Often in a modern movie, if we're going historical, obviously things tend to look a lot more real in terms of the actual swords and the sandals. But you have so much CGI trash on the screen filling in the vast empty space that is no longer being taken up by real sets and real extras, that none of the world actually feels real. I want the big chariot colosseum with 20+ horses and I want the walls of Babylon. I super do not care if the sword looks proper real, hand your protag a minecraft sword for all I care. Something is deeply deeply wrong if I'm frequently being impressed by films from nearly 100 years ago. I would much prefer things to be cheaper, (things being costumes or props) but have more realness on my screen. Feels very stupid to even state this. I want the camera to film a thing that is a thing that exists.