Review

Misery...nothing happened in this film until the last 15 minutes. What in the fuck. How did this even happen? Nothing happened. People walked around and talked at each other and events did not occur. New Moon one was real fucking bad. Orders of magnitude worse than Twilight. I wasn't even laughing. There were large swathes of time we were all just staring out our screens. Silent. About the only thing that had us laughing was the little fag squad of werewolves. Man...lemme tell you something. These werewolves are not intimidating. Sucks given that neither are the vampires. But we literally have a streamer house full of Bel Ami twinks who I am told are big fierce werewolves. Sure.

I don't even really know how you would fix this one. I think you'd have to like fully subsume it into the first film. Which would be fine because it ain't like Twilight was some slim focused experience. Fixing New Moon would involve totally rewriting it to make events actually occur. At one point, around the hour and a half mark, we made note that nothing had yet occurred. And that we could have fully experienced an Evil Dead in the same time. True absurdity.